Starbucks, I'm Sorry ... You Can't Win

By Victoria Robertson on November 8, 2016

Controversy is sparked by such minuscule, irrelevant and laughably ridiculous moments. The truth is, everyone is offended by everything.

So many differing opinions clash on a fairly regular basis, and even when we try to do things right, sometimes, we just can’t win.

Starbucks just learned that the hard way.

Last Tuesday morning, Starbucks changed their cups (as they do fairly often) and people freaked out.

Yes, something this stupid is happening in our country. Go figure.

College students are all too familiar with Starbucks, and probably know all too well how controversial their cup choices can be. Remember when they started producing “holiday” cups instead of “Christmas” cups? And we were offended by that because if you don’t celebrate Christmas, you’re wrong?

Yeah well, it’s happening again.

The Starbucks cups are now green and have a continuous sketch of many different human characters, all drawn with one, single line. At first glance, you might think this is another holiday cup that Starbucks has provided us, but you’d be wrong.

No no, Starbucks is referring to this as the unity cup.

According to a spokesperson for Starbucks, “It’s meant to be a symbol of unity, and to encourage us to be good to each other.”

Yup, such a pure, unifying thought has sparked controversy with angry coffee drinkers.

Cups that are literally supposed to unite people, to bring us all together, are doing the exact opposite.

Don’t believe me? I couldn’t make this up, I promise.

Let’s turn to Twitter for some back-up:

According to one tweet, “@Starbucks I need answers. This new green cup is extremely ugly & gives me anxiety. Are these the official holiday cups or just the pre-cup?”

According to another, “I really don’t like the new green holiday cups at Starbucks …”

Yup, we’re that ridiculous.

Starbucks, in the wake of the recent election, has attempted to unite everyone, to make things feel a little better since most Americans agree that both candidates aren’t ideal. The election has been a dark cloud looming over us for a while now, and all the company was doing was trying to turn an election back into a time for excitement for new beginnings.

They posted on their Twitter account, “Friends, baristas, and customers drawn in one continuous line — reminding us we’re all connected.”

And what was the response?

One response read, “Screw you. My coffee should NOT (and does NOT) come with political brainwashing. I dropped @Starbucks like a hot rock.”

And another read, “@Starbucks how did the holiday spirit become a political agenda?”

Yup, those are real responses.

But fear not, we aren’t all this ignorant.

Starbucks received some support as well.

One tweet read, “I love the new Starbucks cups and I love the message of them.”

And another read, “I love the new @starbucks cup featuring a symbol of unity as a reminder of our shared values, and the need to be good to each other.’”

Still, Starbucks had to defend itself against such ridiculous accusations in assuring customers across the country that it wasn’t actually attempting to promote a political agenda. It was doing just as it said, trying to bring unity to the country.

Let’s be clear here: the cups didn’t have images of Clinton or Trump on them. They didn’t have a donkey or an elephant. They didn’t have images of the white house or our current President.

There’s a single drawing of multiple, unnamed characters and a green background.

And yes, that’s all it is.

Still, to drive the point further, the Starbucks CEO, came out with a statement. He said, “During a divisive time in our country, Starbucks wanted to create a symbol of unity as a reminder of our shared values, and the need to be good to each other.”

And while this controversy most likely stems from an incident last year during which Starbucks wrote “Race Together” on their cups (again, good intentions taken very poorly), it’s still ridiculous.

And a spokesman also made clear that these unity cups are only a limited time deal, meant to bring unity around the election. So no people, these are not your holiday cups.

You’ll be able to complain about those at a later date.

But for the time being, continue to rebel against corporations for pushing their agendas onto unassuming citizens.

I mean, just imagine walking into Starbucks Tuesday morning and finding your nonfat, chia tea latte encased in some sort of green statement piece promoting peace and unity. The humanity.

Perhaps it’s time to stop complaining about Starbucks and their cup choices, take your pretentious coffee, and walk to your 9 a.m. philosophy class, because we don’t want to hear it.

A cup is a vessel for your coffee, nothing more.

So breathe America, and stop wasting your energy on such pointless issues.

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